[Last time I had a meaningful and real (established, eventually) friendship (or really even healthy relationship outside the family and other than my brother) was when I was living at a CRR named Holcomb.  Hopefully I can develop and build a relationship with this guy named Mark whom I met in the hospital in December of 2015 into some semblance of a friendship and thereby learn how to have friends (making and maintaining can be hard for me.  That’s what I need to work on or towards).]

My friendship with Mark did not work out.  In the past, I have been too needy and whatnot and people shy away from that sort of interaction because of either fear or the work that would be involved, i.e., responsibility.  (People have started comparing me to Spiderman.  They say I look like Tobey Maguire.  I like that better than both tireless comments involving Argonauts and serial killers.  “With great power comes great responsibility.) 

I have noticed that if there is a way to get around actual work, people will find it and become complacent on purpose.  It’s just the way people are – they would rather stagnate and not upset the status quo than improve their lot.  It cultivates in them a secure sense of belonging.  They do this because there is a false sense of security in stagnation that happens to alleviate the fear of trying and not succeeding.  It exists because all in all people are afraid to succeed due to the obvious fact that they may fail and be scoffed at.  It is easier to break someone down with insults to build oneself up than to actually accomplish something and be strong enough to endure criticism.  Success leads to recognition and increased responsibility and work, which, to the average man, are scary propositions.  No one wants to be famous; at least not for something they did on their own that would put them in greater scrutiny by the public.  (A lot of celebrities these days are just really rich, funny, sociable beyond normal or have a great body.)  Most people would rather live vicariously and never have to step up to the plate so that there is no opportunity for the other people of that society and/or subculture in which they reside to bring them down with insults and questions.  This is the false security that stagnation and anonymity provides, and that is the reason evil and misunderstanding prevail (except in the inner city…there, the people are both noted individuals and simultaneously no ones…it is very freeing to just walk around there…talk about security).  No one wants the hassles that come with success.  They would rather pretend because of the fear of actually mattering.  It’s a double edge sword.  Most people want to succeed just not do better than average so they can maintain their friendships.  What is ironic is that those “friends” only care because they are on the same “level”.  Try to get better, succeed and improve and watch them turn on you so they can maintain what they perceive as control.  These are the ways of the unawakened mind of men.

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